The world within
The outer world, a frenzy
Of assignments, to-do-lists and appointments
Of mood boards and meetings,
Of progress reports and briefings
The noise never stops
Whether intermittent or in hushed tones
But forever relentless
Life, a means to an end
Always an external evaluation
Always a little short of perfect, and yet always never complete.
I want deafening silence
Silence so loud, I can no longer hear
The voices within my own head
The one voice critical, the other a sceptic,
One argumentative and the other that just can’t calm down.
SILENCE, I scream
Scream into my own mind
Scream into my conscience
Silence ….
I still hear ….
I hear the pitter patter of raindrops, how fast, how slow, its rhythm, its direction
Has it been raining all day?
I hear the whizz of the air conditioner, a white noise, so very steady
Has it always been this way?
I hear birds chirping
Different calls, different birds
Some urgent, some longing
Have I only just remembered to smile?
I hear my weighty deep breathing, light on the inhales and heavy, collapsing on the exhales
Has it taken my whole life to notice this?
I hear my heart’s rhythmic warm thudding,
Have I just realized how lucky I am to be alive
For a moment a day, just away from the regimen,
Scream for silence
I long to meet you each day
You, not a measure of success, not a tick on my to -do -list
Silence, my companion
You who have walked with me my whole life
You who know me best
Silence,
I wait for you
A moment a day
A lifetime away
Silence,
My inward promise
Silence,
My world within
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