Thirty
“Surprise!”, they bellowed, in unison
A room full of love,
My well wishers assembled
Our happiness, was enough
“Thankyou for this”, I replied
Tears spilling from my eyes
Emotions washing over me,
Gratitude was the surprise
“Make a wish”, they called back
And a cake was wheeled in,
3 tiers of scrumptious
I couldn’t wait, to dig in
I closed my eyes
A wish was to be made
The things I could ask for
My enthusiasm, I couldn’t disguise
“I wish”,
“I wish”,
“I wish”, I repeated
Words hitting a barrier
No verses spilling
Eyes closed, I whispered
“Wish fast”, the wait was chilling
What more could I wish for
I thought to myself
I wish only to recall, I said
Memories stacked away, like a shelf
Those teen years, a mess
Acting guilty, blaming myself
What for, no reason, I guess
Outward insecurities
Eating away at my insides
False pretenses, so exhausting, I sigh
The twenties,
They rolled out just as they came
Year after year, new colours framed
Twenties, I remember
Always a chase
Always knowing where you’re going
Hardly ever knowing, where you are today
The thirties are amongst me,
My warm embrace
This feeling not overnight
Took these decades to create
I know who I am, the spaces to graze
Peace within, clouded judgement, passed with the storm of yesterday
Years of hard work,
The strain, of the chase
To know where you’re going, based on how far I reached today
I look back at my early years
And my life replays
The troubles, the trauma, the uncertainty ablaze
The loneliness, the rejections, the challenges,
All praise!
What was meant for me
Has found me, and it’s here to stay
I’ve earned it these past few years
My blessings now on display
I whisper again to my own mind
A little “Thankyou”, I say
You failed, you learnt,
you cried, you asked why
But you got up each time
That’s the lesson, each day
Standing taller with gratitude
My self, my pride
But you weren’t alone , I remind
“Open your eyes”,
There’s a room full of people inside
I’ve kept growing
They’ve watched, nurtured, cheered on the side
My journey a new road, a path clearer to walk on
With my people, my guides .
To look upon this moment again,
a decade from now,
When I’m reminded once again, to close my eyes
I wish to see, beyond more than I see now
The new lessons, new skills attained, so I can take a bow
Time is a fleeting one
Just a memory, day after day
At times a marathon, so much run
But looking back, I ponder , my journey, just begun
Oh thirties be kind,
Walk with me, entwined
I revisit you with peace, this moment again
Different each time,
Better yet , refined.
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